Ron and I give all the honor and glory to God for saving our marriage over 30 years ago, where infidelity, verbal and physical abuse reigned in our relationship! Because of God’s grace, we have been married for 44 years. We have three sons and six grandchildren.
Ron and I were married in 1972. We were young and neither one of us really knew what love was all about and married each other with the expectations that our spouse would meet all the other’s needs.
Shortly after marriage, I felt that our marriage was a big mistake. I wanted out, but I didn’t want to disappoint my parents by hearing, “I told you so,” since I was married so young, so I hung in there. Ron hung in there as well, because, “Thou shalt not divorce.” Realizing that divorce was not an option, I continued to try and change Ron since I believed that he was the problem, and if he changed then I would be happy. In 1978, we were both so miserable that we were actually double dating with other partners. We were just surviving and living like two ships passing in the night.
In 1981, Ron and I were saved from the penalty of sin and accepted Christ as our personal LORD and Savior. We were so happy and believed that not only did God save us from hell, but that He also saved our marriage! We poured ourselves into Bible studies and lay counseling others. However, several years later, after coming down from my mountain top salvation experience, I spiraled down and wanted out of my marriage once again. During this time, I realized while counseling other women in their marriages, I was not doing what I told them to do in my own marriage and felt like a real hypocrite!
After Ron confronted me one day of why I was so unhappy, I shared, “I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t think I ever did. I want out of this marriage and feel trapped, since we are both now Christ followers and forgiven from all our sins.” He said, “I am sorry you feel that way. But I love you and I’m committed to make this marriage work.” I thought, “Rats! I don’t even have his blessing to leave this stinkin’ marriage!” Because I loved God and desired to be in His will, I decided to go to the Word of God to find a loop hole to get out of the marriage!
As I studied God’s Word, I started to realize that even though God saved us from eternal damnation, we were still the same two people in our marriage relationship, as nothing had changed since we never dealt with all the unresolved conflict we had. After I was convinced that God wanted me to stay in the marriage, we started working on all our unresolved conflict. We realized that we couldn’t change each other, had to rely on God to change us individually and released each other into the hands of God for transformational change through the power of the Gospel.
We went to work on dealing with our issues one by one, with confession, repentance and forgiveness. When our slate was completely clean we made a few commitments; that we would never go to bed angry (Ephesians 4:26), we would always keep our slate clean by living in a state of confession, repentance and forgiveness, and for the rest of our lives we would help others in their marriages, because if God could heal our marriage then He could heal any marriage where there were two willing parties!
As God led us both into ministry, our ministry grew to not only helping marriages, but families, individuals, businesses, churches, etc. “For where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ Name, there will be conflict*.” Matthew 18: 20 (*liberties taken from God’s Word to add the word “conflict.”)
We help others using Biblical Counseling and tools to develop peace with God, peace within, and peace with others.
It is our privilege to help you. Please check out Your Story to see how we can take Your Story through our process, pointing you to the Power that can help give you peace and reconciliation.
For more information on Ron & KC please check out their bios.