No Peace – No Power… Once you are robbed of peace, you are robbed of power. Give away your peace, you give away your power.
How would you define peace?
- Is Peace allowing others to use you as a doormat?
- Is Peace the absence of outward conflict?
- Is Peace avoiding confrontation?
- Is Peace looking the other way, faking and pretending it doesn’t bother you?
- Is Peace being an enabler or an appeaser, or a people pleaser?
- Is Peace when you never show you’re angry?
What mostly describes your life right now?
A state of tranquility, calm, serenity or quiet
War, conflict, contention, discord, dissidence, strife, trouble; tumult, turmoil, unrest, upheaval; fighting, warfare; action, battle, combative
Matthew 5: 9 “BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS FOR THEY SHALL BE CALLED SONS OF GOD.”
That’s quite a verse isn’t it? But for the most part, we don’t know how to become peacemakers. We are not born peacemakers…as a matter of fact, the bible says we are born with a sinful nature, bent toward war. Very few are ever trained in the biblical tools of peacemaking, but it is assumed that if you are a Christian, you are a Peacemaker. So we stumble around and try to do the best we can based on our upbringing, what we’ve been taught and what we’ve seen or not seen modeled.
- If your parents never had a disagreement in front of you, then you will not have the model of knowing how to agree and disagree in a healthy way and possibly even think it is wrong to disagree and you learn to fake peace.
- If your parents fought and argued all the time but never resolved anything, then you’ve learned that breaking peace is how you handle a disagreement.
Neither one of these ways are the correct way of handling conflict.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, peace and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Doesn’t this sound good to you all? Wouldn’t you love to have power, love, peace and sound judgment?
If you know Jesus as your personal Savior Lord, you already have Peace inside of you because Jesus is our Peace! That is exciting news, isn’t it? Without Jesus, you will never have Real Peace and Real Power!
We give our power away
We empower others to hurt us
We hand it over on a silver platter
We become codependent on others to make us happy
What causes conflict and makes you lose your peace and lose your power?
What does the bible say about the cause of conflict?
“What causes fights and quarrels among you, is it not your desires that wage war in you!” James 4:1
It says that conflicts start with our desires! CONFLICT STARTS IN THE HEART.
How do you respond to conflict?
- Elephant in the room, but no one is talking about it
- Not taking responsibility for own behavior instead of always being someone else’s fault.
- VICTIMS… rather than VICTORS.
- At times there are legitimate reasons to flee, like taking a break to cool off
- Running away from any problem only increases the distance from the solution….the easiest way to escape from the problem is to solve it
Between FLIGHT and SUICIDE IS
- According to the Us Center of Disease Control and Prevention, Suicide is the third leading cause of death in teens.
Insults – Use your mouth – your tongue as a weapon
- ZINGERS! Know what buttons to push
- HUMOR/SARCASM “I was only joking!”
- MIND GAMES
- CALLING NAMES
- PUT DOWNS-CONDEMNATION.
- Sharing information to someone who is NOT the solution or the problem
- SLANDER- is sharing something false about someone
Fighting-Talking with your fists
- Resolve by force
- FBI Reports that 5-6 killings in every 100,000
- Matthew 5:21-22 says if we hate our brother in your heart we commit murder
Don’t measure how big your God is by how big your problem is,
But measure how big your problem is by how big your God is!
If you slide down the slippery slope of peacebreaking or peacefaking, you lose your peace and lose your power to be able to handle the situation in a godly, mature and responsible way
What is the biblical way to handle conflict?
It is all about reconciliation and/or restitution
Overlook – minor offenses – need to Thick skinned- not thin skinned
In other words, IN THE LIGHT OF ETERNITY, IS THIS WORTH IT?
I use to confront every little thing that someone did to me and couldn’t let anything go!
Talk –too serious to overlook- sin or offense
How do you know when it is to serious to overlook?
- Dishonors God
- Damages your relationship
- Hurts you or others
- Hurts the offender—–examples
- Substance abuse
- Sexual immorality
- Wallowing in bitterness
Rule of thumb: DANGEREOUS, ILLEGAL OR IMMORAL
- Discuss speak the truth love – you may find YOU are to blame
CONFESSION- 7 A’s
- Just Between the two of us (Matthew 18:15 –” if your brother sins against you, go show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”)
- Exception to the rule;
Some situations that it is not wise to face alone
- Person has a lot of power of control and intimidation
- Responsible Representative in your place
- Get an older friend
- If you or a friend endured physical, emotional or sexual abuse
- police officer
- “But if he will not listen to you, take one or two others with you” Matthew 18:16
- Legal authorities – attorney
What is the Solution?
The peace of God that surpasses all understanding, comes through Confessing our wrongs and sins to each other, and forgiveness. Confession cleanses our souls and keeps at peace. Forgiveness is a gift we give to others, but forgiving someone else is also our gift as well. It’s been said that Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping someone else will die…it hurts us more than our enemy because we develop bitterness and resentment in our lives. When we give away our peace, we give away our power. We become powerless and go down the slippery slope of destruction.
Gals you can be the most powerful, when empowered by the Holy Spirit of the living God WHO IS OUR PEACE. You can be the person that God wants you to be, and more than that, you will be a role model to your children and everyone around you.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, peace and sound judgment.” II Timothy 1:7