By KC Dierenfield
I’ve been involved in peacemaking ever since God healed my own marriage 30 years ago. I have been a Certified Christian Conciliator through PM Ministries for the last 18 years, which means I do one on one conflict counseling and family, marriage, friends, and business mediations – where I am the third party who tries to help others solve their own disagreements.
I am not an expert in being a friend, as I continue to grow and learn in that area, and have in the past burned bridges with a friend or two. However, I am here because I am a professional peacemaker and would love to share with you how you can Find Peace in Friendships.
FOUR FOUNDATIONS OF PEACE
1. GOSPEL Eternal peace with God – We are born again and have made God Lord & Savior of our lives.
Romans 5:1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Receiving eternal life is Jusitification…..Just As If I’ve never sinned. ALL Relationships stem from the Gospel of Jesus Christ and He desires Gospel Centered Relationships.
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”
Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts- reign in your hearts…” IT’S where we got our ministry name, Reigning Peace Ministries
This is the sanctification process….it can be very painful with trials, testings, shattered dreams and tribulations.
We can have eternal peace with God, know where we’re going when we die, but spend much of our lives in battle with God for not answering our prayers the way we want, for our trials, testings, shattered dreams, tribulations- for allowing things to happen in our lives that causes pain. We don’t understand God and His ways.
1) We don’t really know the Biblical God, just the man-made-God. We don’t really understand who He is, why we’re here or our purpose.
We don’t understand God’s attributes; His goodness, kindness, mercy, endurance, grace, forgiveness, sovereignty – we quote Rom 8:28, “All things work together for good to those who love God who are called according to His purpose…and we know it up here, but we really don’t believe it deep down. We have broken relationships and we wonder, “Where is God?”
2) We don’t really understand our Purpose in Life Isaiah 43:7 We’ve been created for God’s glory PERIOD. Not for our happiness which comes and goes with circumstances, but His glory.
3. WITHIN Matthew 12:36-40 2 Commandments The only thing I differ with Peace Maker Ministries is this, that Peace within comes before peace with others. This is why…
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to him, YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
What does it mean to love yourself?
Proverbs 3:27 “As a man thinks in his heart so he is.”
If we don’t know WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST, we will have an Identity Crisis.
4. Identity in Christ
We need to know who we are in Christ!!!!
We love ourselves because God is Love and if God is in us, then we can love ourselves with the right kind of love, not a self-righteous love.
We know Who We are In Christ – Peter 2:9 we are the precious, holy, beloved, chosen, children of God…FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;—- For HIM —His purposes and glory, not OURs…Are you getting it ladies?
If we don’t love and accept ourselves then we will respond to others
Based on our insecurities. We will be in fear of rejection or desertion.
We’ll compare ourselves to others and wish we could be like someone else and have what they have. We’ll feel insignificant. We’ll want you to help us feel satisfied. We’ll become over-sensitive, because life is about meeting my needs and fulfilling me- because Life is truly ALL ABOUT ME!
Do you ever think how much you could grow if people never got in your way! I’m OK until my feet hit the floor and I encounter other people!
GOD HAS PUT YOU IN RELATIONSHIP TO HELP GROW YOU.
I want you to understand that everyone in your life has been handpicked by God to be involved with you. Your friends are NOO Accident or Coincidence… They are Godcidents! Yes that’s right…not accident or coincidence but Godcidents. You will not find that in any dictionary because I have made it up, but it is true none the less.